So it has been a while since my last blog post but it is time for a new post so here we go.
I wanted to write about this topic for a long time, and it is something which happened to me a couple of months ago. Firstly let me explain why I am writing this blog post for everyone to read, it is because this topic is a very sensitive topic to me, and it's something which I would like to share with others. I want someone to able to read this blog post, but not feel like they are alone and that there is hope.
The story happens way back in May when I was in a relationship which I was in for about a year and a half. I at the time was happy to be in the relationship and was in love. Things started to fall apart in May when we argued non stop. It was always about something so minor, what was very common was that we were not happy. We hit a rough patch of our relationship and the arguing never ended. Things started to get out of hand with our arguing. It started to get physical, this is not something I am proud of. We were using physical violence as a form of venting our anger at each other. I had pushed him down stairs at some point and I had ruined his things as a form of getting his attention. I will never ever forget the day when things turned for the worst.
The day it happened went something along the lines like this. I woke up lying next to my boyfriend and we were planning out when was the next time we would see each other. He was very busy that day and maybe busy during the night as well. I was so selfish in my relationship I wanted nothing but lots of attention. So I got annoyed because the next time we met was not suiting for me. I started to get angry and then threatened him. I threatened to rip something that was importance to him, which were tickets to some design talks in the local area. I used this as a way of getting attention from him, so he would just have to deal with me regardless. This did not concern him as he was far to busy during the day to deal with the matter at hand. So the argument was never resolved and we left it looming for the rest of the day. He had then decided to turn up to my place at university and stay over, bare in mind at this point he had gone out to have a few drinks with his mates to complete the busy day. So he stayed over but I was really annoyed as you know the argument was never resolved. I wanted him to stay at his because I thought space away from each other would have done us the world of good. Which still to this day I think would have stopped the situation which was about to happen. My constant nagging of telling him to leave, had made him really angry and sparked a reaction out of him. This is when the arguing got physical. We screamed at each other and pulled each others hair and he threw a chair on the floor. Then this part will never ever leave my memory at all, he punched me in the face three times. I was so shaken up and felt so scared, I wanted to run away and hide from it all. The arguing continued and it lead into him spitting in my face, I was pleading for him not to hurt me at all. Bare in mind by now I had a swollen eye and I was due to go home the next day to go see my family for the weekend. The arguing then stopped and we cooled down, I had to tell my parents something but I was far to scared to tell them the truth. I then went to see the doctor to check up on how badly damaged my eye was, I was lucky enough to be told that the punch had not fractured any bone near my eye. This is a picture of how it looked.
So by this time I was thinking about what to tell them and think what should I say?. I could not escape the truth very much because I had something physical which was hard to miss. So I told my parents and my sister what happened and they were so shocked. I was so adamant at that stage that I would not break up with him. To everyone reading this your probably saying why would you still want to be with him. I let love get to much of a concern in my mind. The one thing that made me cry a lot was the fact my sister had called me on my way back to university and she was in floods of tears. I didn't want to go back to university but I had to face my demons and deal with the issue at hand. I went back to university and we sat down and discussed what was best for each other. A day after our chat we broke up, to this day it was the best decision I had ever made.
Returning back to what I said at the start about me wanting people to read this, and get some advice from it. If you are currently in a relationship that is abusive and he or she is being domestically abusive, I beg you to not let love get in the way of it. I am very happy to be out of that relationship because what would happen if it could have gotten more dangerous. We could have had the fight in the kitchen and there could have been a knife lying around. If you find that your not happy and the arguing is non stop then talk to someone about it, not your boyfriend but someone else. I was so stupid throughout my relationship that I had blanked out my friends and gave my boyfriend almost 100% of my attention to him. I regret shutting out my friends because at that time I should have gone to them and asked them what to do. I now far too often hear about domestically abusive relationships taking the turn for the worst. People let love take over it all and do not listen or want to talk to their parents about it. Telling my family was the best choice I made, they made me think clearer about the situation.
I also made a video about this topic on my YouTube channel so check the video out if you want to as well. Youtube Channel
I would like to thank you for reading this blog post and I hope that I have helped you in some ways. Also do not hesitate to contact me if you want to talk to someone who knows what you are going through then tweet me @akikakalde or email me at akikakalde@hotmail.co.uk, I am happy to talk to you if you would like a chat about it.
Once again thank you very much for taking your time out to read this blog post.
